If We Had Enough Peanut Butter We Could Save the World& Cream of Peanut Soup (Recipe)

By Judith Deutsch

October 20, 2021

Western Tanager, Vol. 88 No. 2, Nov.-Dec. 2021

Okay, I admit it. I stole the peanut butter and crackers from a colleague’s desk. It was an emergency. That evening I received a call from Maintenance advising me that a skunk had just entered the main exhibit hall at the Southwest Museum. The Museum is dramatically built into a hillside in Mount Washington, California. Our visitor was within spraying distance of beautiful and culturally and historically significant artifacts constructed of feathers, cloth, beads, and leather.

I was experienced in rodent/artifact relations. As a member of the art conservation team at the J. Paul Getty Museum, I discovered a good-sized hole in the bottom of a multi-million-dollar 18th century armoire. Staff disagreed on the size of the culprit. I won. It was not a mouse, but a rat the size of a small cat.

After convincing a perplexed conservator, who then convinced a perplexed exterminator that we were not going to implode or explode a rat in the lab, I watched the exterminator put peanut butter in a cage with a spring door. The next morning, Mighty Mouse was in the cage and off to an unknown destination.

Well, what works on rats should work on skunks, so at the Southwest Museum I pasted my stolen peanut butter on my stolen crackers and created a path from the skunk to the door. It took 15 minutes to eat its way out the door, which I then slammed shut! Just minutes before 750 guests arrived for the exhibition opening…

And since I am not a fan of peanut shells all over my balcony at home, I make peanut balls for my winged friends from unsalted peanuts pulverized into paste and rolled into balls. I have been known to launch these balls from the balcony to distract Common Ravens and American Crows from the baby Anna’s and Allen’s Hummingbirds at my feeders or hiding in my little ceramic birdhouses. Smaller balls are loved by the House Sparrows and Finches, Mourning Doves, and Rock Doves and Pigeons after they have had their morning and afternoon showers in the balcony fountain.

But I am most proud of luring CEOs to Board meetings with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches adorned with potato chips and accompanied by root beer and Twinkies. The following is a recipe to bring your family running to the picnic table this Fall.

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Cream of Peanut Soup

1 medium onion, chopped

2 ribs of celery, chopped

¼ cup butter

2 cups half-and-half

3 T all-purpose flour (use rice flour for gluten-free)

2 quarts low-salt canned chicken broth (Swanson)

2 ½ cups creamy or crunchy peanut butter

Saute the celery and onion in the butter until soft, but not browned. Stir in the flour to make a roux. Add the chicken stock, stirring constantly.

Remove from heat and liquify by rubbing through a sieve, inserting a stick blender in the pot, or placing in a regular blender. Return the soup to the pot and add the peanut butter and the cream, stir to blend, and reheat.

Cream of Peanut Soup can be served hot or cold but, beware, you may have to defend your soup from wildlife or roaming CEOs!