By Annie Margis

For Los Angeles Audubon’s Western Tanager July–August 2020 Vol. 86 No. 6

Being visited by wild birds while working in my outdoor office is an invigorating momentary distraction from my labors. Every morning before I plug in on the patio table, I open my rodent-proof bird food container and scoop out seeds. nyjer for the goldfinches, corn for the sparrows, black sunflower seeds for the mockingbirds, suet for whatever bird comes to call, plus sugar-water for the hummingbirds.

I once saw an oriole on the telephone pole in the alley behind my garden, and an owl once swooped over my head as I sat on the porch. I saw an egret in my pond one morning. As I came around the corner, it flew up like a massive white paper kite. One afternoon, a red-tailed hawk landed in my yard like a body thrown from a plane. It was enormous.

For years, I’ve seen sparrows by the flock on my feeders, in my trees, on my back yard furniture, even bathing in my waterfall. Different kinds of sparrows: sparrows with white stripes on the crowns of their heads and the black-capped ones that pull on my heartstrings, the sparrows I’ve loved since childhood.

I haven’t left this garden since the lockdown began. I work out here in my outdoor office, eat and even nap outside. I watch the light change from dawn to noon to dusk, and I’m certain about what I’m going to say: The birds are gone.

No sparrows visit me anymore. I still see crows on the street, but they never enter my yard, even though I scatter peanuts. A pair of goldfinches still comes for their nyjer, but no mockingbirds, no scrub jays, no mourning doves. I’m devastatingly lonely without them.

I haven’t been out of the house to walk around and see if there are still sparrows at McDonalds and seagulls on the beach, so I don’t know. My Zoom friends reassure me that lots of birds of all kinds still visit their yards, so maybe it’s just me. But why?

I wrote to Cornell University’s bird lab and asked what might have happened, and they kindly sent me back a pamphlet on “Why birds leave backyards.” Apparently I’m not the first abandoned foster mother to ask why. The reasons are numerous, and some can be addressed. For one, I can discourage the neighbor’s cat from hanging out with me in the yard, although I’ll miss her.

News Flash: Yesterday, not one pair of sparrows, but two pairs of sparrows showed up at my corn-filled feeder. I may have cried a little. I’m going to keep putting out bird seed, even if the squirrels do eat most of it, on the chance that sparrows may have returned for good. Maybe now that the lockdowns are lifting, the birds are ending their vacations in the people-less parks, and coming home.